Savage Love
Direct messages
Dead Dan: My husband recently passed away. He was a wonderful person and we had twelve great 12 together. He was also very, very...
Sanitized meeting stories; Bad advice, Dan
Dear Dan: If I first met someone on a hookup site or at a sex party and then we start seeing each other, what’s...
Quickies
Dear Dan: I’ve been faithfully reading your column in the Chicago Reader for years, and now I’m reaching out to you about my own...
Pair of Jacks
Dear Dan: I have a secret: For the past three months, I’ve been attending a local Jacks club (a men-only masturbation event). As someone...
SAVAGE LOVE
DEAR READERS: Two weeks ago, I announced I would be taking a nice long break from questions about miserable sexless marriages. (I don’t get questions about happily sexless marriages.) I tossed out my standard line of advice to those who’ve exhausted medical, ...
SAVAGE LOVE
Dear Dan: I’m a straight male kinkster who used to do live performances as a rope bondage top, but I recently jumped out of the kink community. I just think I’ll have better luck finding a long-term relationship with a girl from the vanilla world. So long as she’s ...
Relationship and kink etiquette
Dear Dan: I’m a straight man and I recently got out of a relationship with a woman who would monitor my internet use to...
Switched on
Dear Dan: You’ve said that everyone is entitled to a “zone of erotic autonomy.” I was wondering if you thought that “zone” extends to...
Shake that moody
Dear Dan: I’m a 30-year-old, Asian American, hetero-flexible cis woman. I’m also newly diagnosed with bipolar II. I’m on medication — the doctor is...
Managing partners; Mutual GGG
Dear Dan: I’m 28 years old and have been with my boyfriend (also 28) for three years. Our relationship is monogamous and vanilla. I’m...
The fine line of rough sex
Dear Dan: I’m your average straight 42-year-old white guy. Married for a little less than a year (second marriage for both). We have an...
Stating the obvious
Dear Dan: I’m a gay guy who’s involved with a guy I met a few months before COVID-19 took off. He's a great guy, smart,...









