Savage Love

Dear Dan: I’m a 31-year-old gay man who looks 45. Most men interested in me are surprisingly up-front about expressing their desire to include...

Dear Dan: I'm a 40-year-old gay male. I live in a big city, in a dense neighborhood. While I've been working from home during COVID,...

Dear Dan: I’m a 25-year-old gay male into puppy play. About a year ago, I joined a pack with one Sir and several puppies. I became very close to one of my “pup bros” and became his alpha — meaning between the two of us, I’m more Dom but still sub to our Sir. Fast-...

Dear Dan: I’m an 18-year-old cis hetero girl from Australia and I’ve been listening to your podcast and reading your column since I...

My boyfriend of three months, “Marcus,” told me last week that he is a trans man. He’s performed oral sex on me and fingered me, but he never let me reciprocate and told me he didn’t want to have penis-in-vagina sex yet because that was a large commitment. We go to ...

Dear Dan: I'm a 20-something more-or-less lesbian in an East Coast city. I'm primarily into women, and I'm only interested in relationships with women,...

Dear Dan: I’m a 26-year-old straight female. I’m writing because I need to ask someone what to think right now. I just fucked a guy while on holiday in Costa Rica. I thought I was sex-positive and adventurous, so why do I feel so ashamed? I’m dating a boy back in the...

Dear Dan: I’m a lesbian who has been pretty successful at online dating. Lately, however, I’ve had a few women contact me who turn out not to be cisgender. I’ve tried to remain open, but I have never been attracted to a trans woman. I don’t rule out the possibility ...

Dear Dan: I’m a 24-year-old straight, married female. I have been religiously reading your column in the Portland Mercury since I was 16. Thank you for explaining things that my parents wouldn’t and for helping me clear the hurdles of adolescence...

Dear Dan: I think my husband is addicted to porn. I find porn in his browser history almost every single day. He says I’m the only one he wants, but I find that hard to believe knowing he watches nonstop porn before fucking me. He also parties every time he goes on a...

Dear Dan: I am a twentysomething, straight, cis-female expat. How long do I have to wait to ask my German lover, who is übersensitive...

Dear Dan: I’m a short guy and I need advice. I don’t want a small paragraph’s worth of advice, like you gave “Below Their League” a few years ago. I need advice beyond “Women like men taller than them, get over it!” I get it. I’m short (5-foot-2), and most women are ...