Savage Love

Dear Dan: What is your stance on maintenance sex? I’d never thought about the issue until reading Amy Poehler’s new memoir. I didn’t find anything she said controversial, and was surprised when this quote blew up in the feminist blogosphere: “You have to have sex ...

Dear Dan: Does a person who acts loving only when high on weed really love you? My live-in boyfriend of three years acts sweet, loving and caring when he’s high, but when the weed runs out, he’s mean, angry, hurtful and horrible to be around. I’ve asked him when ...

Dear Dan: I’ve talked to my girlfriends, my mom and his mom, but I need some unbiased advice. I’m a 28-year-old woman in a relationship for three-and-a-half years with a wonderful man, also 28...

Dear Dan: My boyfriend of two years cannot climax or maintain an erection unless his testicles are handled, squeezed, pulled, or pressed on (preferably with my stockinged foot or knee). Needless to say, intercourse does not work very well, and our sexual repertoire ...

Dear Dan: I’m a Savage Lovecast listener, but I’m sending this question to your column because my boyfriend would FOR SURE recognize my voice if I called the show. I’m 25, I live in Portland, and my boyfriend and I have been monogamous for five years. His dick is of ...

Dear Dan: I’m a gay man in my late 20s, and I can’t get fucked. I have tried to train my ass, but the largest thing I can place inside remains a small butt plug. If I try anything bigger, the pain is unbearable. I’ve always been a very anxious person, and it’s clear ...

Dear Dan: I’m a straight guy, married for 16 years, kids in school. My wife cannot find a way to be intimate with me. We’ve had therapy individually and together. I nearly divorced her, but we decided to stay together — we do love each other, and the economics and ...

Dear Dan: I am a straight woman who has been with my fiancé off and on for 12 years. I have broken up with him repeatedly, each time after two years of being together, but we always end up back together. The two-year point seems to be when I become so incredibly soul...

Dear Dan: I think someone asked you a question about me and my amazing Boyfriend. I set up and re-rack the weights when we work out. The person who wrote saw me kneel and tie my Boyfriend’s shoe and was wondering what was up. You told the guy to ask my Boyfriend. He ...

Dear Dan: My husband and I are a straight couple in our early 50s, and we’ve been married for more than 30 years. We were raised to wait for sex till we got married — this was back in the early ’80s — and we did. Our wedding night was pretty disappointing since ...

Dear Dan: I am a 30-year-old trans guy, on T since college, happy and comfortable with my sexuality. However, I can’t find any helpful health info on a fetish I’ve developed: I insert needles directly into my clit, maybe an inch and a half in. I’m not talking through...

Dear Dan: I am a young gay man who has been so freaked out by the idea of catching an STI that I haven’t gotten with anyone for two years. But last night, I hooked up with a cute 21-year-old FTM trans boy, and maybe because it was a person with lady parts, I let ...