Savage Love

Dear Dan: My boyfriend and I have been together three years. We plan to start a family, we are very happy together, we go on many adventures together — all that good stuff. For the past year or so, I feel like I’ve been losing my sex drive. Not just toward him ...

Dear Dan: I am a straight male, 30, in a long-term monogamous relationship. I love my wife; we have good sex, and often. When we first got together, I had a mild foot fetish, and she has gorgeous pedis. We have done and still do foot play on occasion. But my fetish ...

Dear Dan: I’m a straight 18-year-old girl, and I have been dating my boyfriend for eight months. He recently told me that he wishes we never had sex because he feels like he raped himself by doing it. He has had some bad sexual experiences in the past, but he has ...

I’ve found them after he hides them in his closet, which also serves as a general storage area. After discussions with him, I’m certain that wearing them is a pleasure thing for him. (He says “curiosity,” but this has been going on so long that he knows what it feels...

Dear Dan: I’m a bit out of your usual demographic, age-wise (I’m 70), but I am still an avid reader. (This is true, not a Penthouse letter.) My cousin and I have flirted and joked about getting it on together for about 50 years or more. Now she’s divorced and having ...

Dear Dan: I’m a 30-year-old straight guy 18 months into a relationship with a 30-year-old bisexual woman. We get along wonderfully and fuck wonderfully. Have you ever tried to see who can outrim whom? Fun stuff. We want a life together. The snag is that while she’s...

Dear Dan: I’m a 26-year-old straight female. I’m writing because I need to ask someone what to think right now. I just fucked a guy while on holiday in Costa Rica. I thought I was sex-positive and adventurous, so why do I feel so ashamed? I’m dating a boy back in the...

Dear Dan: I’m a short guy and I need advice. I don’t want a small paragraph’s worth of advice, like you gave “Below Their League” a few years ago. I need advice beyond “Women like men taller than them, get over it!” I get it. I’m short (5-foot-2), and most women are ...

Dear Dan: What is your stance on maintenance sex? I’d never thought about the issue until reading Amy Poehler’s new memoir. I didn’t find anything she said controversial, and was surprised when this quote blew up in the feminist blogosphere: “You have to have sex ...

Dear Dan: I am a 22-year-old bisexual female, and I have a boyfriend who I love. He says he wouldn’t mind if I hooked up with other girls, as long as it was a onenight thing. That’s not what I want...

Dear Dan: My question is one of etiquette. My lesbian wife and I live in an apartment. The noise pollution between flats can be pretty bad. Anyone who lives in the building is aware of this, and keeping noise down after certain hours is a common courtesy. I wouldn’t ...

Dear Dan: My boyfriend of six months tied me up for the first time a month ago. He didn’t know what he was doing, and I didn’t get turned on because it hurt. I got him two sessions with a professional bondage top as a gift. I was the “model,” and I was very turned on...