Savage Love

Dear Dan: Two years ago, I found a letter in my sister’s car informing her that the blood she gave during a charity blood drive had tested positive for HIV. I didn’t say anything to her at the time, because it was a really bad time, I wasn’t supposed to find out, and...

Dear Dan: I love that you use the term “cocksucker” only in a non-pejorative way. I don’t know if you’ve said so explicitly, but I imagine your aim is to remove its negative connotation. As the owner of a cock, I think cocksucking is WONDERFUL! Therefore, cocksuckers...

I recently spoke at Curious Minds Weekend in Toronto at the Hot Docs Ted Rogers Cinema. Audience members submitted questions on cards before the...

Dear Dan: I’m 25, I’m virgin, and I find it quite difficult to relate with girls. My main problem is I can’t accept my sexuality. I’m into fetish SM. But it seems like there are two parts of me. The first part of me wants to lick women’s feet and be humiliated. The ...

Dear Dan: What is your stance on maintenance sex? I’d never thought about the issue until reading Amy Poehler’s new memoir. I didn’t find anything she said controversial, and was surprised when this quote blew up in the feminist blogosphere: “You have to have sex ...

Dear Dan: I’ve got a question I doubt you’ve ever gotten before. It has a bit of everything: sex-work etiquette, long-distance phone interaction, and a het cis chick anxious not to lose her tolerance badge. Here it goes: A few months ago, I started getting hang-up ...

Dear Dan: I write you from Italy, where I follow you through Internazionale. I am a guy in his 30s sexually paralyzed with his...

Dear Dan: I was combing through some old columns/podcasts and came upon a few instances where you counseled women on selling their used underwear online. So I was wondering: Is this particular kink strictly limited to straight guys looking for ladies’ panties? Or is ...

Dear Dan: I am a 30-year-old trans guy, on T since college, happy and comfortable with my sexuality. However, I can’t find any helpful health info on a fetish I’ve developed: I insert needles directly into my clit, maybe an inch and a half in. I’m not talking through...

Dear Dan: My partner is 31 years older than I am. I know the math: He’ll be 60 when I’m 29. But that isn’t the problem. The issue is he’s been a lifelong bachelor and never been monogamous. He’s fucked hundreds of women and is close friends with a lot of his former ...

Dear Dan: You may not be the right person to answer this, but your commenters might be able to help. I love and support my friends who are transgender, but I don’t understand all the 18- to 21-year-olds among my friends who are declaring themselves “gender-neutral.” ...

Dear Dan: I’m a 23-year-old homo who came out one year ago. Life has done good and bad things to me. Good things include success in the intelligence lottery, a full ride to college, and now a job with a six-figure income. Sadly, I find that my place in life is ...