Savage Love

Dear Dan: I’m a lost little lesbian. I have been with my partner for the past four years. She’s 27 and I’m 26. These have been four magical years. We love each other, our parents are happy for us, and we make a great team. My girlfriend deployed to Afghanistan, and I...

Dear Dan: Last summer, I reconnected with a high-school teacher I hadn’t seen for a year. We first met when I was 15, and I had nothing but respect for him and his intelligence. I also had a crush on him for the next four years. Fast-forward a year. He is sexting me ...

Dear Dan: I write you from Italy, where I follow you through Internazionale. I am a guy in his 30s sexually paralyzed with his...

Dear Dan: I love that you use the term “cocksucker” only in a non-pejorative way. I don’t know if you’ve said so explicitly, but I imagine your aim is to remove its negative connotation. As the owner of a cock, I think cocksucking is WONDERFUL! Therefore, cocksuckers...

Dear Dan: You may not be the right person to answer this, but your commenters might be able to help. I love and support my friends who are transgender, but I don’t understand all the 18- to 21-year-olds among my friends who are declaring themselves “gender-neutral.” ...

Dear Dan: You often mention asexual people. I believe I may be one. I’m a 51-year-old woman. I’ve been separated from my opposite-sex partner for nearly nine years. I’ve been approached by a variety of men, each one interested in becoming “more than friends.” I haunt...

Dear Dan: I consider myself one of the lucky ones: happily married for decades, with a long-term girlfriend. GF is at this point part of the family, and while it hasn’t always been an easy arrangement to sort out, it has worked for over a decade. Recently, I’ve been ...

Dear Dan: I’m a 24-year-old straight, married female. I have been religiously reading your column in the Portland Mercury since I was 16. Thank you for explaining things that my parents wouldn’t and for helping me clear the hurdles of adolescence...

Dear Dan: I’m a foot-fetish guy who split up with my girlfriend of four years. She was into all the foot stuff, and we got into lots of other kinks. My concern is about meeting new women. I’m worried I’m not going to be able to perform for vanilla sex. I feel almost ...

Dear Dan: I’ve got a question I doubt you’ve ever gotten before. It has a bit of everything: sex-work etiquette, long-distance phone interaction, and a het cis chick anxious not to lose her tolerance badge. Here it goes: A few months ago, I started getting hang-up ...

Dear Dan: I am a straight male, 30, in a long-term monogamous relationship. I love my wife; we have good sex, and often. When we first got together, I had a mild foot fetish, and she has gorgeous pedis. We have done and still do foot play on occasion. But my fetish ...

Dear Dan: My son, who is almost 30 years old, was married four years ago. He just shared with us that for the last three years, he and his wife have been practicing polyamory. They are committed to their relationship but have each had relationships with both men and ...