Savage Love

Dear Dan: I am a kinky, youthful 72-year-old guy. I grew up in the Pleistocene era, when there was virtually no way to meet a kinky woman. I’ve had two vanilla marriages, and three months ago I ended a four-year vanilla relationship with the best woman I’ve ever met...

Dear Dan: In a former life, I was a staunch Republican and voted for antigay ballot initiatives. Then, after a bad divorce 18 years ago, I moved to another state and fell in with an artistic crowd. Over the years, I became close friends with people with vastly ...

Dear Dan: Last month at a house party, my boyfriend accidentally burned my chin, neck, and cleavage during a clumsily executed volcano shot. I was literally on fire for a few seconds. Some doctor appointments, burn creams, bandages, and awkward scabbing later, I’m ...

Dear Dan: I’m a straight 18-year-old girl, and I have been dating my boyfriend for eight months. He recently told me that he wishes we never had sex because he feels like he raped himself by doing it. He has had some bad sexual experiences in the past, but he has ...

Dear readers: Two excellent writers stepped in to answer the Savage Love Letter of the Day while I was on vacation, and I wanted to share one of those responses in the column this week. Daniel Bergner is the award-winning author of four books of nonfiction. His ...

Dear Dan: I’m a lost little lesbian. I have been with my partner for the past four years. She’s 27 and I’m 26. These have been four magical years. We love each other, our parents are happy for us, and we make a great team. My girlfriend deployed to Afghanistan, and I...

Dear Dan: I’ve heard your calls for bisexuals to come out to their friends and family, and I think it’s a great idea. Here’s my conundrum: I’m not sure I technically classify as “bisexual.” I’m a 40-year-old guy who strongly prefers sex with women to men (percentage-...

Dear Dan: I am a straight male, married to a woman for 25 years. Our marriage started to go sour about 14 years ago. Sex was infrequent and stultifying. Finally, when the kids were old enough, I made plans to separate. When my wife got wind of these plans, she ...

Dear Dan: Is there a term that is preferred to “transgendered”? I recently wrote an article that described a MTF person I know as transgendered. The article was positive about transgendered persons I have known (she is one of many). Upon seeing a draft prior to ...

Dear Dan: I’m an American woman living abroad and have started a relationship with a wonderful man from a Middle Eastern country. We are having a great time exploring what is a foreign country for both of us. The looming issue is sex, of course. He is a moderate ...

Dear Dan: I’m a 34-year-old straight female. I am morbidly obese and have been for most of my life. I have never dated. I’ve been on a couple of dates, and only when I asked the guy out. From reading your columns and books, I am aware that some men are attracted to...

Dear Dan: I’m a 21-year-old female college student going to school on the East Coast. Two days ago, I broke up with my manipulative, controlling, insecure, long-distance boyfriend of one year. I truly care for this man, but I need to live my life the way I want to, ...