Savage Love

Dear Dan: I’m a gay man in my late 20s, and I can’t get fucked. I have tried to train my ass, but the largest thing I can place inside remains a small butt plug. If I try anything bigger, the pain is unbearable. I’ve always been a very anxious person, and it’s clear ...

Dear Dan: I’m a 25-year-old bi girl in the Southwest, and I’ve been with the same hetero guy for almost three years. I miss being with women. We made an attempt at being monogamish, but feelings were hurt and we went back to monogamy. He still parties like he’s in ...

Dear Dan: You often mention asexual people. I believe I may be one. I’m a 51-year-old woman. I’ve been separated from my opposite-sex partner for nearly nine years. I’ve been approached by a variety of men, each one interested in becoming “more than friends.” I haunt...

Dear Dan: I’m a straight 18-year-old girl in my first sexual relationship. Things are a little awkward, and I could chalk it up to inexperience, but here’s what I feel conflicted about: I have a vore fetish. It was a fascination for me as a young child and became a ...

Dear Dan: I consider myself one of the lucky ones: happily married for decades, with a long-term girlfriend. GF is at this point part of the family, and while it hasn’t always been an easy arrangement to sort out, it has worked for over a decade. Recently, I’ve been ...

Dear Dan: I’m a bit out of your usual demographic, age-wise (I’m 70), but I am still an avid reader. (This is true, not a Penthouse letter.) My cousin and I have flirted and joked about getting it on together for about 50 years or more. Now she’s divorced and having ...

Dear Dan: I’m what was once quaintly called a “woman of a certain age” who started reading your column to broaden my horizons. As a result, some curiosities peeped their heads over the boundaries of my once happily repressed existence. I summoned the courage to ...

Dear Dan: Last summer, I reconnected with a high-school teacher I hadn’t seen for a year. We first met when I was 15, and I had nothing but respect for him and his intelligence. I also had a crush on him for the next four years. Fast-forward a year. He is sexting me ...

Dear Dan: I am a 22-year-old bisexual female, and I have a boyfriend who I love. He says he wouldn’t mind if I hooked up with other girls, as long as it was a onenight thing. That’s not what I want...

Dear Dan: My father is 65 years old and has been a devoted husband to my mother who has been battling a medical condition for the past 30 years — a condition that prevents her from engaging in sexual activity of any kind. He has not had sex in all this time and is ...

Dear readers: Two excellent writers stepped in to answer the Savage Love Letter of the Day while I was on vacation, and I wanted to share one of those responses in the column this week. Daniel Bergner is the award-winning author of four books of nonfiction. His ...

Dear Dan: I’m a 24-year-old straight, married female. I have been religiously reading your column in the Portland Mercury since I was 16. Thank you for explaining things that my parents wouldn’t and for helping me clear the hurdles of adolescence...