Savage Love

Dear Dan: I am a male grad student who is technically engaged to a female grad student. She has numerous positive qualities, but she is repulsed by sex. She is very sensitive about her repulsion and becomes distraught when I broach the subject. She says that even the...

Dear Dan: I’m a 26-year-old straight female. I’m writing because I need to ask someone what to think right now. I just fucked a guy while on holiday in Costa Rica. I thought I was sex-positive and adventurous, so why do I feel so ashamed? I’m dating a boy back in the...

Dear Dan: A big congrats to Caitlyn Jenner on her big reveal and lovely Vanity Fair cover! But I am having a crisis of conscience. On one hand, I support a person’s right to be whoever the heck they want to be. You want to wear women’s clothing and use makeup and ...

Dear Dan: I am a 30-year-old trans guy, on T since college, happy and comfortable with my sexuality. However, I can’t find any helpful health info on a fetish I’ve developed: I insert needles directly into my clit, maybe an inch and a half in. I’m not talking through...

Dear Dan: My boyfriend of six months tied me up for the first time a month ago. He didn’t know what he was doing, and I didn’t get turned on because it hurt. I got him two sessions with a professional bondage top as a gift. I was the “model,” and I was very turned on...

Dear Dan: I am a straight woman who has been with my fiancé off and on for 12 years. I have broken up with him repeatedly, each time after two years of being together, but we always end up back together. The two-year point seems to be when I become so incredibly soul...

Dear Dan: I think someone asked you a question about me and my amazing Boyfriend. I set up and re-rack the weights when we work out. The person who wrote saw me kneel and tie my Boyfriend’s shoe and was wondering what was up. You told the guy to ask my Boyfriend. He ...

Dear Dan: My girlfriend can’t use hormonal birth control and “doesn’t like” condoms but wants sex. What would you do? — Paternal Anxiety Upsetting Sexual Escapades...

Dear Dan: Settle this for us, Dan? Which is the bigger ask: a one-time, once-in-a-lifetime threesome or regular (and pretty damn elaborate) bondage sessions...

Dear Dan: My question is one of etiquette. My lesbian wife and I live in an apartment. The noise pollution between flats can be pretty bad. Anyone who lives in the building is aware of this, and keeping noise down after certain hours is a common courtesy. I wouldn’t ...

Dear Dan: My wife and I have been together for more than 10 years, practicing some kind of nonmonogamy for more than seven. We tried different things — open, dating others, FWBs — but after a bi threesome with another guy a year ago, we knew that was our thing. For a...

Dear Dan: My boyfriend and I both spent a lot of time masturbating when we were young, and pretty much trained our brains to come only one way. He can only come from masturbating furiously, or sometimes from a marathon of jackhammer sex. A few years before I met him...