Savage Love

Dear Dan: Here’s the Reader’s Digest Condensed Version: I’m a sexually inactive (by my own choice) heterosexual female in my late 40s who up until recently used to be much heavier and in rapidly declining health. Since my type 2 diabetes diagnosis, I have achieved ...

Dear Dan: We have a new shorthand term for BDSM doms who are abusive assholes: Ghomeshi doms. Good guys into BDSM should stick this in their online profiles: “I’m a nice, non-Ghomeshi dom looking for a lady who is into...

My boyfriend of three months, “Marcus,” told me last week that he is a trans man. He’s performed oral sex on me and fingered me, but he never let me reciprocate and told me he didn’t want to have penis-in-vagina sex yet because that was a large commitment. We go to ...

Dear Dan: I’m a 26-year-old straight female. I’m writing because I need to ask someone what to think right now. I just fucked a guy while on holiday in Costa Rica. I thought I was sex-positive and adventurous, so why do I feel so ashamed? I’m dating a boy back in the...

Dear Dan: I think someone asked you a question about me and my amazing Boyfriend. I set up and re-rack the weights when we work out. The person who wrote saw me kneel and tie my Boyfriend’s shoe and was wondering what was up. You told the guy to ask my Boyfriend. He ...

Dear Dan: My question is one of etiquette. My lesbian wife and I live in an apartment. The noise pollution between flats can be pretty bad. Anyone who lives in the building is aware of this, and keeping noise down after certain hours is a common courtesy. I wouldn’t ...

Dear Dan: I am a straight woman who has been with my fiancé off and on for 12 years. I have broken up with him repeatedly, each time after two years of being together, but we always end up back together. The two-year point seems to be when I become so incredibly soul...

Dear Dan: My son is 15 going on 16, and he’s been experimenting with masturbation. At the moment, I pretty much just think fine, whatever, he’s a teenager, there’s very little I can do about it. So long as he doesn’t get porn-obsessed and start letting his grades ...

Dear Dan: I am a male grad student who is technically engaged to a female grad student. She has numerous positive qualities, but she is repulsed by sex. She is very sensitive about her repulsion and becomes distraught when I broach the subject. She says that even the...

We just did a live taping of the Savage Lovecast at Seattle’s Neptune Theatre. Audience members submitted more questions — anonymously, on index cards — than we could possibly answer during the Q&A segment of the show. So I’m answering some of the questions we didn’t...

Dear Dan: My girlfriend can’t use hormonal birth control and “doesn’t like” condoms but wants sex. What would you do? — Paternal Anxiety Upsetting Sexual Escapades...

Dear Dan: I’m a foot-fetish guy who split up with my girlfriend of four years. She was into all the foot stuff, and we got into lots of other kinks. My concern is about meeting new women. I’m worried I’m not going to be able to perform for vanilla sex. I feel almost ...