Savage Love

Dear Dan: Yesterday, I found my 5-year-old son putting things up his butt in the bath. This isn’t the first time — and it’s not just a “Hey! There’s a hole here! Let’s put things in there!” kind of thing. The little dude was rocking quite the stiffy while he did it. ...

We just did a live taping of the Savage Lovecast at Seattle’s Neptune Theatre. Audience members submitted more questions — anonymously, on index cards — than we could possibly answer during the Q&A segment of the show. So I’m answering some of the questions we didn’t...

Dear Dan: I’m a gay man in my late 20s, and I can’t get fucked. I have tried to train my ass, but the largest thing I can place inside remains a small butt plug. If I try anything bigger, the pain is unbearable. I’ve always been a very anxious person, and it’s clear ...

Dear Dan: I’m a 33-year-old straight guy with a small dick. I have a girlfriend of seven years. When we met, I was really...

Dear Dan: My husband and I got married in August of 2019 and we were together for over five years before getting married. I’m...

Dear Dan: I’m a lesbian who has been pretty successful at online dating. Lately, however, I’ve had a few women contact me who turn out not to be cisgender. I’ve tried to remain open, but I have never been attracted to a trans woman. I don’t rule out the possibility ...

Dear Dan: I had a stroke a year ago. The woman I was dating at the time stepped away. I have no hard feelings...

Dear Dan: I’m a mid-20s cis straight man. After my girlfriend and I finished college, she moved overseas to start her job. We’ve broken...

Dear Dan: I’m a 59-year-old man in good health. For basically my whole adult life, I’ve had this problem during intercourse with a woman...

Dear Dan: You’ve said that everyone is entitled to a “zone of erotic autonomy.” I was wondering if you thought that “zone” extends to...

Dear Dan: I have a mentally disabled cousin who I haven’t figured out how to help. He’s lived for more than 40 years in the same nursing home in a small, conservative town. His mental age is about 8, there are other mental-illness issues, and he has some physical ...

Dear Dan: I recently ended a relationship that lasted a year and five months. While I loved this woman, for much of the relationship she was, to varying degrees, depressed. I tried to be as helpful and patient as possible with the hope and expectation that she would ...