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Cain is a joke...

ARIES March 21-April 19: The coming week is likely to be abnormally free of worries and frustrations. I’m afraid that means you’re not going to have as much right to complain as you usually do. Can you handle that? Or will you feel bereft when faced with the prospect...

ARIES March 21-April 19: In an old comedy sketch called “One Leg Too Few,” a onelegged man comes in to a casting agent’s office to audition for the part of Tarzan in an upcoming show. The agent is as diplomatic as he can be given the fact that the role would best ...

ARIES March 21-April 19: I’ve got a good feeling about your relationship with intimacy in the coming weeks. Judging from the astrological omens, I think you will have a good instinct about how to drum up interesting fun with your most important allies. You’ll just ...

We are a bit perplexed by the Drug Enforcement Administration’s recent medical marijuana raids. Wasn’t there some sort of federal edict passed down last fall telling the DEA to leave dispensaries and caregivers alone in states with medical marijuana laws, as long as ...

ARIES March 21-April 19: “An awakened Aries would rather err on the side of making a daring, improvisational mistake than cuddle up with passionless peace,” writes astrologer Hunter Reynolds. “He or she knows that creative conflict can be a greater unifying force ...

ARIES...

ARIES March 21-April 19: I’ve got a challenging assignment for you. In accordance with your current astrological omens, I am inviting you to cultivate a special kind of receptivity — a rigorously innocent openness to experience that will allow you to be penetrated ...

Here, again, is our monthly look at those who have departed from this earth...

ARIES MARCH 21-APRIL 19: Back in the 1920s, the governor of Texas was determined to forbid the teaching of foreign languages in public schools. To bolster her case, she called on the Bible. “If English was good enough for Jesus Christ,” she said, “it’s good enough ...

ARIES MARCH 21-APRIL 19: We all have addictive and obsessive tendencies. They are fundamental to being human. So the challenge is not to eliminate them — that’s not possible — but rather to harness them. If you hope to keep them from dragging you down, you must work ...

Dear Dan: We have a new shorthand term for BDSM doms who are abusive assholes: Ghomeshi doms. Good guys into BDSM should stick this in their online profiles: “I’m a nice, non-Ghomeshi dom looking for a lady who is into...