Screen
Brand Xenu man
Writer/director/demigod of modern American cinema Paul Thomas Anderson — or PTA, as his peeps call him — has a filmography so stunning that merely making a very good movie means it’s his worst one yet. So, with a heavy heart comes the news that The Master isn’t ...
Excaliburp
After a weird text prologue vaguely describes a magic war, the guy who was the Hulk for one movie (Eric Bana) jumps atop a...
Heaven is overrated
Recently, I joylessly trudged through the first season of Amazon’s Transparent, a show populated with so many soulless, vacuous, obnoxious characters that I began rooting for them to die horrifically. This follows my quasi-traumatic enduring of Breaking Bad, an over-...
Who watches ‘The Watch,’ man?
Seeing as how it has an extraterrestrial plot, let’s describe The Watch using an astronomical metaphor. Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill and Richard Ayoade are like comedic planets that orbit a central, burning sun. And that sun is made entirely of penis jokes. ...
Origins of evil, zombies and a film festival on the rise
It’s a cool spring evening with a bit of a breeze coming in off the mountains — just enough to slam a few doors and lift a few curtains. Old iron gates swing on their hinges in the courtyard. Though it’s too dark to clearly see the surrounding peaks, there’s a ...
In need of altar-ations
Complaining about the length of a film can be a cop-out, a lazy way to avoid dissecting actual content in favor of basically whining about how valuable your free time is. But jokes about The Five-Year Engagement being long enough to legally make its audience common...
‘Spy Next Door’ not worth a ticket
I'm a lukewarm Jackie Chan fan. He’s been in some terrific films, notably Rush Hour and The Forbidden Kingdom, but he’s also been in a lot of movies that are stupid, including the Rush Hour sequels and the ghastly Around the World in 80 Days...
Bad advice
Featuring an all-star cast of irreproachable actors ... and also Cameron Diaz, The Counselor had Ridley Scott at the helm and an original screenplay written by Cormac McCarthy. All the ingredients in this cinematic recipe are independently delicious; so why does the ...
Swing and a miss
Dame Helen Mirren as a toughtalking Nevada brothel madam? We like to think our finest screen performers can play anyone. Mirren, whose career has encompassed the full spectrum of human behavior, from queens to gangster’s molls, is fully capable of tackling a ...
Top 10 films of the decade
The first decade of this millennium has been an uncertain one. Terrorist attacks, wars, and financial meltdowns have made us feel vulnerable...

















