Screen
Don’t bother keeping up
Since The X Files, David Duchovny’s air of undentable diffidence has been his strength (to those who find him dreamy) as well as his limitation (to the others). In the social satire The Joneses, Duchovny plays a salesman who, at a key point, when he truly deserves ...
‘Youth in Revolt’ part inspired, part irresponsible
"Punk" and "rebel" don't belong in the same sentence with "Michael Cera." But somehow, they connect in the few-holds-barred teen comedy "Youth in Revolt...
Are you awake?
The folks at Microsoft announced Alan Wake back in 2005, hyping how the game would change the face of gaming. Wish they let us know we would have to wait five years for the game, during which Gears of War, Grand Theft Auto IV and Modern Warfare have already changed ...
In need of altar-ations
Complaining about the length of a film can be a cop-out, a lazy way to avoid dissecting actual content in favor of basically whining about how valuable your free time is. But jokes about The Five-Year Engagement being long enough to legally make its audience common...
‘Spy Next Door’ not worth a ticket
I'm a lukewarm Jackie Chan fan. He’s been in some terrific films, notably Rush Hour and The Forbidden Kingdom, but he’s also been in a lot of movies that are stupid, including the Rush Hour sequels and the ghastly Around the World in 80 Days...
Who watches ‘The Watch,’ man?
Seeing as how it has an extraterrestrial plot, let’s describe The Watch using an astronomical metaphor. Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill and Richard Ayoade are like comedic planets that orbit a central, burning sun. And that sun is made entirely of penis jokes. ...
Origins of evil, zombies and a film festival on the rise
It’s a cool spring evening with a bit of a breeze coming in off the mountains — just enough to slam a few doors and lift a few curtains. Old iron gates swing on their hinges in the courtyard. Though it’s too dark to clearly see the surrounding peaks, there’s a ...
Thanks, Morgan Freeman
I’ll be honest, in the spirit of the honestly shameless heartwarmer Dolphin Tale. I saw it in a somewhat distracted, agitated state...
Puttin’ on the Fitz’
If “director Baz Luhrmann” and “restraint” have ever appeared in the same sentence together, they were the word-bread creating a sandwich around the phrase “has absolutely no.” Considering that the gaudy Jay Gatsby is basically Luhrmann’s spirit animal, the union ...
Talking twinkies
The Lego Movie being somehow good ruined our ability to completely dismiss a film’s concept upon first hearing it. Who knows, maybe Minions would be infused with the same cleverness, the same all-ages wonder and fun? In the first 10 minutes, a pillshaped living ...
Blue screens of death
Every few years, somebody gets a weird bug up their ass to make a movie that doesn’t look like a movie, from Hardcore Henry,...
















