Screen
Sorry, Malaysian tourism industry!
No Escape feels like it was written by somebody who violently hates the entire Asian continent. Culled from every xenophobic stereotype, down to the eating of dogs, the film plays like a two-hour anti-tourism ad: “Malaysia, You’ll Probably Die Here.” Setting aside ...
Oh no, double 0
One time, in a James Bond movie, Denise Richards played a nuclear scientist named Dr. Christmas Jones. It’s just important for everybody freaking out about how Spectre isn’t that great to remember how far away we are from the franchise’s event horizon of bullshit. ...
The long on the shorts
As Violet from Willy Wonka or someone who just saw a spider will tell you, bigger isn’t necessarily better. An afterthought for most normals until Oscar night, short films are often bite-sized bits of delightful wonder. Heck, sometimes they even grow up to be feature...
Let’s not be gods
Midway through Ex Machina, writer/director Alex Garland’s taut thinker, super genius inventor Nathan (Oscar Isaac) tells human guinea pig Caleb (Domhnall Gleeson) that the invention of artificial intelligence was always a matter of when, not if. Here’s a thought: ...
Son shines
Like death, taxes and CBS creating another spectacularly unfunny comedy, reboots are an inevitable part of life now. To resist them isn’t merely tilting at windmills, it’s tilting at windmills you then go ahead and buy anyway. Instead, let’s just get writer/director ...
Extra, extra bad things
So I’m talking to a friend the other day, and he says “I don’t see why we need the news anymore if we have social media.” The minute I stopped beating him senseless whilst vomiting due to the sulfuric smell of stupidity, I pointed out that Twitter has yet to take ...
The core of Apple’s man
Apparently, writer Aaron Sorkin has decided that his “thing” is making fascinating films out of seemingly unfilmable, boring-ass ideas. I don’t have an iPhone. I don’t like Apple. I don’t like Steve Jobs. I don’t care about Steve Jobs. I didn’t care to ever see a ...
On agents and agency
Melissa McCarthy is immensely talented, armed with a stunning repertoire of acting skills. So, of course, Hollywood sees her and claps its collective hands together, yelling “Make the funny lady fall down again!” Spy is writer/director (and frequent McCarthy ...
Sexually transmitted ignorance
Writer/director David Robert Mitchell’s It Follows is an alarmingly well-reviewed throwback horror movie that follows Jay Height (Maika Monroe), whose vagina gets cursed by Satan after she does it with her boyfriend. He straps her to a chair and explains she’s got ...
