Savage Love

Dear Dan: My question is one of etiquette. My lesbian wife and I live in an apartment. The noise pollution between flats can be pretty bad. Anyone who lives in the building is aware of this, and keeping noise down after certain hours is a common courtesy. I wouldn’t ...

Dear Dan: I’m a Savage Lovecast listener, but I’m sending this question to your column because my boyfriend would FOR SURE recognize my voice if I called the show. I’m 25, I live in Portland, and my boyfriend and I have been monogamous for five years. His dick is of ...

Dear Dan: Settle this for us, Dan? Which is the bigger ask: a one-time, once-in-a-lifetime threesome or regular (and pretty damn elaborate) bondage sessions...

Dear Dan: I’m a cute, mostly straight, twentysomething, single and (safely) sexually active woman. This happens to me pretty often: I hook up with a guy, we start fooling around, and we’re both really into it. I reach down, and he’s full sail. Things progress — ...

I’ve found them after he hides them in his closet, which also serves as a general storage area. After discussions with him, I’m certain that wearing them is a pleasure thing for him. (He says “curiosity,” but this has been going on so long that he knows what it feels...

Dear readers: Two excellent writers stepped in to answer the Savage Love Letter of the Day while I was on vacation, and I wanted to share one of those responses in the column this week. Daniel Bergner is the award-winning author of four books of nonfiction. His ...

Dear Dan: I’m a 25-year-old male. After a tragic set of circumstances, I am now the legal guardian of my 15-year-old brother. He’s gay. Fortunately, our parents took care of “the talk” and taught him how to use condoms. Unfortunately, he has started dating a senior ...

Dear Dan: Here’s the Reader’s Digest Condensed Version: I’m a sexually inactive (by my own choice) heterosexual female in my late 40s who up until recently used to be much heavier and in rapidly declining health. Since my type 2 diabetes diagnosis, I have achieved ...

Dear Dan: I am a straight woman who has been with my fiancé off and on for 12 years. I have broken up with him repeatedly, each time after two years of being together, but we always end up back together. The two-year point seems to be when I become so incredibly soul...

Dear Dan: I am a young gay man who has been so freaked out by the idea of catching an STI that I haven’t gotten with anyone for two years. But last night, I hooked up with a cute 21-year-old FTM trans boy, and maybe because it was a person with lady parts, I let ...

Dear Dan: I’m a 26-year-old straight female. I’m writing because I need to ask someone what to think right now. I just fucked a guy while on holiday in Costa Rica. I thought I was sex-positive and adventurous, so why do I feel so ashamed? I’m dating a boy back in the...

Dear Dan: I’m a 24-year-old woman who just ended a five-year relationship. It sucked. I cried. It was my first breakup, so I’ve felt totally insane for the last three months. Now I’m in the dating world, and I go out with people only to find that we have no physical ...