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ARIES MARCH 21-APRIL 19: In the sci-fi film trilogy The Matrix, the heroes are able to instantaneously acquire certain complex skills via software that’s downloaded directly into their brains. In this way, the female hacker named Trinity masters the art of piloting a...

When Coss Marte first got into New York City’s cannabis industry in the ’90s he was just 11 years old. But he was a...

We got a note from Keys, who claims to have written more than 2,000 poems for passersby on the mall using a 1917 typewriter and a sign reading “Poems about anyone or anything.” His customers tell him what they want the poem to be about, and he churns out a piece in ...

We owe you one, Oprah, and that lady in the wig too As if we hadn’t already gone way too far when it comes to...

ARIES March 21-April 19: Now and then you display an excessive egotism that pushes people away. But during the next six weeks you will have...

ARIES March 21-April 19: “I have tried in my way to be free,” sings Leonard Cohen in his song “Bird on a Wire.” In other words, he has done the best he can to liberate himself from his unconscious patterns, bad habits and self-delusions. He hasn’t been perfect in his...

ARIES March 21-April 19: According to my reading of the astrological omens, it’ll be a hair-on-fire kind of week for you — and yet also a heart-inrepose kind of week. In other words, you have the potential to be fierce and relaxed, vigorously ambitious and sublimely ...

Dear Dan: Shame on you for recommending adultery as a solution to a husband who can’t satisfy his wife! Satisfying a woman is easy! I learned it from a book! You just tickle the clitoris continuously with as light a touch as possible until she comes, as many times as...

ARIES MARCH 21-APRIL 19...

Dear Dan: I love that you use the term “cocksucker” only in a non-pejorative way. I don’t know if you’ve said so explicitly, but I imagine your aim is to remove its negative connotation. As the owner of a cock, I think cocksucking is WONDERFUL! Therefore, cocksuckers...

I love Valentine’s Day. Like all the best holidays, it gets a bad rep for its focus on consumerism. It’s usually the haters that end...

The war is over-ish...