Screen

Yo ho no

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‘The Pirates! Band of Misfits’ fires an errant cannonball%u2028 It’s hard not to mention Chicken Run without wanting to make a joke about Mel Gibson voicing a rooster. And while that may be the lasting thought from the 2000 movie, the fact remains that it was ...

Blue screens of death

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Every few years, somebody gets a weird bug up their ass to make a movie that doesn’t look like a movie, from Hardcore Henry,...

2012, will you marry me?

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I want the 2012 year-in-film to have my babies. Heck, I’ll have its babies; it has been so durn good I’d totally go seahorse for it. Before I reduce a year that renewed my cinematic soul to a series of arbitrary numbers and rankings, a quick caveat: Because ...

All for none

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The Alexandre Dumas book The Three Musketeers still offers a thrilling adventure with the coming-of-age tale of D’Artagnan leaving home to join up with the fabled Musketeers, acting in the service of King Louis XIII against the evil Cardinal Richelieu. Sword fights, ...

Child’s tale come to life

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Know how to give mild G-rated fare a little something special? Cast Sandra Oh as an elementary school teacher who enjoys her orderly ways and who regards the Ramona half of Ramona and Beezus, taken from the venerable Beverly Cleary children’s books, as more ...

Revelations kill the suspense

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A horror movie that works cuts through analysis, shrugs off opinions and snobbery, and eschews complexity — either in technique or in budget. You know it works when the hairs on the back of your neck rise. You know it works when others in the audience — as if moved ...

Where you been, Laden?

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That members of the U.S. Senate have spent more time discussing the fictional depiction of torture in Zero Dark Thirty than they spent discussing the actual torture the military was performing in the wake of 9/11 is yet more proof that “Congress” is the opposite of “...

Chinese art attack

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It’s impossible not to watch Ai Weiwei, dubbed by some as the “Chinese Andy Warhol,” tell his motherland to eff right on off without thinking one thing first and foremost: That dude has got some Buddha-sized stones. Although Ai may possess the street-art cred and pop...

‘Armored’: Terrible tough guys

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Ever wonder what kind of guy drives an armored car full of cash? Yeah, I never did either, but that’s the environment that Armored presents us with: a bunch of edgy, tough-guy losers who somehow have ended up as employees of Eagle Shield Security...

You’ve seen this film before

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The mystery of Topher Grace’s film career, and why it isn’t better, continues with Take Me Home Tonight...

Payoff never comes in ‘The Canyon’

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When newlyweds in movies insist on taking their honeymoon in...

‘Valentine’s Day’ an ideal date movie

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When making movies, it's possible to have too much of a good thing...