Amurica the beautimous
Well folks, get ready for the “Most Patriotic Summer Ever.” The self-proclaimed “King of Beers” (insert snarky, snooty, yet accurate “microbrew-is-superior” comment here) now has a new title: “America.” To be read as “Amurica” of course.
That’s right, Budwieser brewer Anheuser Busch announced this week that starting May 23 and continuing through the November presidential election, it will replace the large Budweiser logo with one simple word: “America.” It will also “emblazon” its 12 oz.
cans and bottles with quotes from “The Star Spangled Banner” and “America the Beautiful.” The rebranding, the company says in its press release, is part of its summer “America is in Your Hands” ad campaign aimed at reminding citizens of this fair land of the “optimism” our country was founded on.
“Budweiser has always strived to embody America in a bottle, and we’re honored to salute this great nation where our beer has been passionately brewed for the past 140 years,” said Ricardo Marques, vice president of Budweiser, in the release.
But if that’s true and the watery, bland and dare we say vapid Budweiser is America in a bottle, we’re not sure we want to be part of it.
Good thinking, AB. Now all the red-neck, bigoted, gun-loving patriots among us can spend their summers getting wasted on cheap-ass beer before decimating the word “America” as they take out their shot-guns and target practice on unsuspecting beer cans. Way to make America great again by annihilating it all together.
Watch out for that oil and gas industry spin
Ever since the Colorado Supreme Court ruled that the Longmont fracking ban and Fort Collins fracking moratorium were overturned, we’ve been inundated by guest columns from industry hacks and political operatives working for industry hacks and industry lobbyists claiming that the Supreme Court ruled that only the State has a right to regulate fracking and other aspects of oil and gas extraction. But fortunately, wishful thinking and legal findings aren’t the same thing.
What the “Supreme” court found was nothing like that. If that is what the court had determined from its examination of the law they would still have been wrong, but at least the ruling would not have been nonsensical.
No, COGA and the COGCC asked the court to find that state regs trump community regs when it comes to land use and zoning ordinances as they pertain to oil and gas extraction. But on this issue the court found that these industry-lobbying groups — yep, that’s exactly what the COGCC is — were wrong in their assumption. The court actually found that local governments can use their land use and zoning regs to control oil and gas extraction but only — and here comes the nonsensical part — if local regs accomplish the “state’s goal” of increasing production and leaving nothing in the ground. While this bizarre finding exposes the court as just another level of industry controlled government oversight. It also leaves the door open for many new and creative ways to stop oil and gas extraction within city limits. Just watch and see.
People target shoot beer cans with shotguns…? Sounds like someone doesn’t have a clue what they’re talking about. Anyway, budweiser will still be exceedingly nasty whatever it’s name is changed to.
Buttwiper goes good with a .410