Proud to be an American
Well, it was bound to happen. We here in the land of the free and home of the brave are apparently such giant, insecure asshole troglodytes that many of those living among us from other parts of the world don’t feel safe here anymore. We can’t imagine why.
Seriously, cab drivers in our northern states report that they are witnessing a mass exodus of immigrants who came to the U.S. seeking a better life only to now be fleeing illegally to Canada. According to press reports, these cabbies are dropping off as many as 10 families a day each at the border. Then the families are crossing to seek safety in Canada, which apparently is the country where the Statue of Liberty should have been delivered. We don’t know about you, but we are rapidly becoming embarrassed to be associated with Trump’s ’Merica and Trump’s followers and Trump’s… no, that’s too easy. Trump hasn’t made us into an ugly hateful country. He was elected because we had already become a hateful ugly country. Time to call a cab.
Tickle me this, Elmo
Remember when Donald Trump promised to not only retain American jobs but create new ones? As it turns out, for the muppets of Sesame Street, in addition to the rest of the general U.S. population, his promise could fall far short of reality (despite his former life as a “reality” TV star.)
PBS recently announced via parody video that they are firing long-time Sesame Street stars Elmo, Cookie Monster and Telly Monster due to proposed budget cuts in arts and education funding. After 32 years, Elmo, or more accurately the hand that moves the puppet, has to leave the show because of none other than Ronald Grump, the real-estate tycoon the show has been making fun of since the ’80s. In the video, Elmo expresses concerns about his loss of health insurance — what about his unspecified pre-existing condition? — and his lack of any other skill besides being Elmo! (Somehow he forgets to mention the tickling.) But perhaps most importantly: What about the kids? To which the broadcasting exec replies, “They have YouTube.”
The world gets scarier and scarier every day even if apparently Big Bird gets to stay.
