It’s the end of the world as R.E.M. knows it
With how things are going, there’s only one thing we can count on: The end of the world is nigh.
The inevitability is heightened as the occupants of the island of evil misfit toys take over congress as the ice caps melt, oceans warm, air becomes toxic, more species become extinct, nuclear war looms, aliens invade, meteors crash…
Well, let’s keep that list going folks. Apparently our antibiotics don’t work either! Some ninnies didn’t listen to their doctor and forgot to take the entire dosage of their antibiotics, strengthening bacteria and creating SUPERBUGS.
Back in September a Nevada woman died after getting infected with a drug-resistant bacterium, which was resistant to all antibiotics that were available in the United States. That news will surely make you take all 10 days of your prescription, no matter how “fine” you feel after two days.
The Center for Disease Control (CDC) finally released a report on the incident last week, saying that drugs will always need to evolve as bacteria mutates and grows more resilient. And it looks like drug manufactures are behind the curve, according to the CDC, with drug applications for new antibiotics dropping steadily over the last 30 years.
Now, if that doesn’t sound like the first five minutes of a zombie apocalypse movie then we don’t know what else does.
And considering the bigot troll dictator baby man being sworn in this weekend sounds like the first chapter in a teen YA dystopian novel, we can all agree the end of the world has arrived.
The only thing left to do is take bets as to when, where and which way wins.
Lift the spirits and clog the arteries
As we wait for the world’s demise, there are plenty of things to look forward to.
First, there’s Puppy Bowl XII on Feb. 5. Who cares about the Super Bowl since the Broncos are down and out for the season? But the Puppy Bowl, well, that’s a face off that makes everyone happy while promoting adoption awareness.
This year the Puppy Bowl is going to be even more heart warming: a hearing- and sight-impaired Australian shepherd, a deaf English pointer and a terrier born with three legs are among the 80-some fuzz balls from 34 U.S. shelters and rescue groups that were filmed for the game.
Fun fact: Did you know they film hundreds of hours of footage for the Puppy Bowl? Hundreds.
PB Referee and Animal Planet personality Dan Schachner told Reuters that teams Fluff and Ruff will be subject to some extra fouls this year.
“This year we’ve got illegal use of the tail, which we’re bringing back. And truly offensive pass interference, and of course we’re referring to odor, not to offense,” he said.
Fun fact: Schachner has said he had to find out the hard way that a dog is never too young to hump you — on camera.
If the Puppy Bowl isn’t enough to make you crack a smile in these days leading up to Trump’s inauguration, then try this on for size: Participating 7-Elevens around the country are serving up breakfast pizza, topped with smoked bacon, breakfast sausage, hickory-smoked ham, scrambled eggs, cheddar and mozzarella cheese, and peppered cream gravy on top of a biscuit crust.
That’s enough to lift the spirits and clog the arteries. (No sign yet that these have surfaced in Colorado, so it’d be best to temper your excitement.)
So, puppies and (possible) 7-Eleven breakfast pizza. That’s what you have to look forward to in the aftermath of the Trump inauguration.
Hang in there, folks.
