This silence is golden

Any theater purists out there who weep into their chamomile about the stage being corrupted by more and more adaptations of (gasp!) films, need to bear two things in mind or else run the very real risk of being outed as the pretentious twits they are.

First, just like every other art form, theater has always been an equal opportunity theme thief and plot pilferer. For fook’s sake, Shakespeare stole liberally from the Romans, Greeks and just about anyone else unlikely to show up and challenge him to a duel.

Second, the trend of adapting movies from farther and farther afield — say, for instance, the horror genre — is just another example of the inevitability of change in an ever-more mutable world. Certainly, the spate of musicals based on properties like The Evil Dead, Night of the Living Dead, Carrie and The Toxic Avenger may seem opportunistically crass… until one reflects that their theatrical ancestors include adaptations of Flashdance, Barbarella and one of the grande dames of porn, Debbie Does Dallas.

If we theater-folk were being totally honest with ourselves, we’d have to replace the comedy and tragedy masks on the proscenium arch with a picture of a photocopier.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Without cross-media appropriation and fertilization, small wonders like Silence! The Musical would never come to be. An “unauthorized parody” of the Academy Award-winning, Jodie Foster-starring, 1991 flick The Silence of the Lambs, the musical is a rollicking, irreverent and often hilarious retelling of FBI trainee Clarice Starling’s collaboration with the incarcerated Hannibal “The Cannibal” Lecter in her pursuit of another serial killer, Buffalo Bill.

Silence! The Musical follows the plot of the movie closely but tweaks virtually every element of the story for comic effect. Foster’s heavy West Virginia accent becomes a persistent speech impediment where every “s” sounds like “sh” leading to Clarice’s introductory number being called “Thish Ish It” and her painful flashback/parting the veil duet with her dearly departed dad having the title “Papa Shtarling.” Clarice (Holly Dalton) explains she minored in dance before engaging in multiple dance numbers, including a Plexiglas-divided waltz with Dr. Lecter (Jim Landis).

In perhaps the most audacious and effective creative coup, a few of the more famous lines from the movie become centerpieces of outrageous musical numbers. In a reference to “Multiple” Miggs’ lewd comment to her as she passes his cell, when Clarice first meets Hannibal he breaks into “If I Could Smell Her Cunt,” which, as if the title wasn’t bold enough, features numerous Urban Dictionary-ready references to female genitalia, including “tuna fish,” “bearded clam” and “hairy hole.”

Buffalo Bill’s (Shawn Smith) iconic dick-tucking dance routine scene is presented in most of its original glory in the Act 2 opener, “I’d Fuck Me,” a lyric that’s reprised multiple times during the remainder of the show. And, of course, the oft-quoted “It puts the lotion in the basket … Put the fucking lotion in the basket!” exchange between Bill and his down-the-well captive pops up as well — garnering the loudest applause on opening night.

One other thing to note about the music in Silence! The Musical is how much of it there is. With only the most minimal dialogue connecting one song to the next, the show ends up feeling as much like an opera as anything else. Albeit a seriously fucked up one.

The chorus (Colleen Herskovits, Cammie Kolber, Cameron Leonard, Sara Michael, Mike Moran and Wade Wood), who actually get some of the best one-liners in the show, are all dressed as lambs, and that costuming remains in place even when they’re playing specific characters like Clarice’s FBI boss or the cops guarding Lecter, leading to some extremely humorous visual juxtapositions.

This regional premiere is presented by the Equinox Theatre Company in its trademark passionately low-budget style. Equinox appears to be embracing the horror movie musical as its go-to production choice. Its next two shows will be Evil Dead: The Musical (complete with “splatter zone”) and The Toxic Avenger: The Musical. If those productions are half as rib-tickling as Silence! The Musical, The Bug Theatre should be packed all the way through September.