Years after being kicked out of military, woman appears in documentary about ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy

SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Due to the discovery of a couple love letters written to her girlfriend, Robin Bolster-Grant was kicked out of Annapolis in January of 1983.

The 48-year-old Bonny Doon, Calif., resident describes her story in “Out of Annapolis,” a documentary by Steve Clark Hall that explores the effects of the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”
policy. Bolster-Grant was one of 15 alumni documented in the film but
is the only one who was kicked out before graduating.

Bolster-Grant enrolled at Annapolis
in 1980, four years after the naval academy began accepting women. The
aspiring aeronautical engineering major felt ready to take on the
challenge.

“As a young person, I had all of these hopes and dreams,” Bolster-Grant said. “I wanted to be a pilot.”

Still, the academy’s goal to “morally, mentally and
physically” develop students through countless hours of workouts and
classes was grueling.

Being a woman didn’t make it any easier, she said.

“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done,”
Bolster-Grant said. “I think it was a little harder for women because
we were still novel.”

Harassment was frequent, with daily name-calling and threats, she said.

“The harassment was pretty bad, all the way up to physical stuff,”

Bolster-Grant said. “They’d say, ‘I’m going to make sure you don’t graduate.”

Bolster-Grant was a part of a 110 person company
with only nine or 10 women. Only three women graduated and the men
would put the departed’s name tags on a bulletin board, she said.

Still, Bolster-Grant made it through two and a half
years. Little did she know, the school had been investigating her for
11 months.

“Sophomore year, I fell in love with a woman on the
softball team,” Bolster-Grant said. “It didn’t occur to me that people
were watching me. I was careful.”

Bolster-Grant said her roommates broke into her locker and found love letters between the two and reported her.

Bolster-Grant said she was interrogated for three
hours by school officials. She then met with the commandant, who told
her to leave. Her girlfriend had already graduated, but Bolster-Grant
said the outing “ruined her career.”

“He expressed regret that it had to be that way,”
Bolster-Grant said. “I understood that because it is a place very much
about rules. You just have to accept things.”

Despite the discrimination and arduous workouts, Bolster-Grant said the news was hard to swallow.

“It was a great place to be, so it made it that much harder to have it taken away,” Bolster-Grant said.

Bolster-Grant left Annapolis and moved on to the University of California-Davis where she studied environmental policy and planning.

“I put it behind me because it hurt too much to think of all the anger and shame,” she said.

Bolster-Grant settled into her new life. She works for the Santa Cruz County planning department and has been with her wife Susan Grant for 10 years.

Bolster-Grant revisited the past, though, when she was contacted four years ago by prior classmates involved in the United States Naval Academy Out program, an organization of more than 300 gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender of the academy’s alumni. Steve Clark Hall, one of the members, was working on “Out of Annapolis” and wanted Bolster-Grant to participate.

Bolster-Grant said recalling her story was difficult; witnessing it on film was even more so.

“It’s hard for me to watch because it brings a lot of anger and sadness back,” she said.

Still, Bolster-Grant said the film accurately portrays the effects of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy.

“Steve Clark Hall did a great job I think in covering the costs,” she said. “The personal stories flesh out and make these policies more real.”

———

(c) 2010, Santa Cruz Sentinel (Santa Cruz, Calif.).

Visit the Santa Cruz Sentinel on the Web at http://www.santacruzsentinel.com.

Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.